Tuesday, August 14, 2007
We meet every Sunday unless 2/4 of the group is camping.
If 2/4 of the group is camping together then we meet at the campsite.
We start at 10:30 unless we don't.
We sing from songsheets. Sometimes we have "special music" after the service.
We prepare lunch food one week and breakfast food the next week unless we meet at night and then we prepare dinner food that week because Art can't eat breakfast food at night even though all the other families have done that before in their homes.
We prepare and drink coffee. Some drink a lot of coffee. Some don't drink any coffee. It all evens out. Pina Coladas are good too.
We bring extra dishes and leave them there for the hostess to use during the week.
Grapes are easy to prepare. We eat a lot of grapes on Sunday.
Pretty soon we will need benches at the table for all the cute kids to eat their lunch at. Hint Hint. (We know a carpenter)
We have a lost and found bag. That is probably the only formal thing we have.
We love our house church. We wouldn't want it any other way.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
It's an illness.... and I think I have it
Monday, May 7, 2007
After an evaluation of my symptoms and a consultation with a long time sufferer I've diagnosed my condition. I come from a long line of others who go before me in this walk of life. My grandmother had it. My mom has serious bouts of this condition and just recently I had a critical flare up. My daughter already shows the early stages of this disease. To the outside world it isn't understood. Fortunately I have a very compassionate husband and friend.
The condition I am speaking of is Remnantaphobia. I probably would not have known that I suffered from this condition if Joann's wouldn't have had their annual "Daffodil Rush" where they have a super clearance on their already clearance fabric. Normally I can show self control in purchasing fabric because it is $3-$6 a yard. But with the combination of my new blooming business, crocheting fabric to make totes and handbags, and fabric on clearance for $1-$2 a yard- I became weak and delusional. I found myself surrounded by the most beautiful fabric I had ever seen. As I made my way to the cutting table where I would have to decide how many yards I wanted to cut off of the bolt of fabric, I started to shake. For some of the bolts the decision was easy- I would take it all. For the bolts that had a lot of fabric on them I became unusually indecisive. I finally sorted all the bolts, stacked them according to how much I was going to purchase from each bolt, had the fabric cut and made my way to the cashier. That's when the dread set in - the telltale symptom of remnantaphobia.
I was shopping with my mom and daughter that particular day so I was able to mask the symptoms with spending time with them and with working on some of our projects that we had started at home.It wasn't until the next morning that I realized how bad I suffered from this frightening illness. that night after dropping off some of my totes at a local Coffee house I made my way back to Joann's to take care of my phobia. You see remnantaphobia is the fear of a remnant. It isn't a traditional phobia-where one can't be around the feared item- it is simply the fear that I would make a remnant of a beautiful piece of fabric. That I would leave a small amount of fabric on a bolt to be left alone with not enough yardage to be made into anything and there it would sit unappreciated and lonely. I then proceeded to locate my leftovers from the day before and gathered them tenderly in my cart and brought them home to be with their mates. They were so happy to be reunited.
About my daughter. She too is making totes and small handbags. I recognized one of the symptoms early in her career of sewing and crafting. She was thinking about what she would do with the money if she sold one of her bags. She said, "I can't wait to sell one of my bags so I can buy more fabric." Not a toy or something she's been wanting for a long time.... MORE FABRIC!!! I decided to diagnose how far along she was in the illness... "How will you know how much to buy?" I asked. "All of it," she proudly declared.
After an evaluation of my symptoms and a consultation with a long time sufferer I've diagnosed my condition. I come from a long line of others who go before me in this walk of life. My grandmother had it. My mom has serious bouts of this condition and just recently I had a critical flare up. My daughter already shows the early stages of this disease. To the outside world it isn't understood. Fortunately I have a very compassionate husband and friend.
The condition I am speaking of is Remnantaphobia. I probably would not have known that I suffered from this condition if Joann's wouldn't have had their annual "Daffodil Rush" where they have a super clearance on their already clearance fabric. Normally I can show self control in purchasing fabric because it is $3-$6 a yard. But with the combination of my new blooming business, crocheting fabric to make totes and handbags, and fabric on clearance for $1-$2 a yard- I became weak and delusional. I found myself surrounded by the most beautiful fabric I had ever seen. As I made my way to the cutting table where I would have to decide how many yards I wanted to cut off of the bolt of fabric, I started to shake. For some of the bolts the decision was easy- I would take it all. For the bolts that had a lot of fabric on them I became unusually indecisive. I finally sorted all the bolts, stacked them according to how much I was going to purchase from each bolt, had the fabric cut and made my way to the cashier. That's when the dread set in - the telltale symptom of remnantaphobia.
I was shopping with my mom and daughter that particular day so I was able to mask the symptoms with spending time with them and with working on some of our projects that we had started at home.It wasn't until the next morning that I realized how bad I suffered from this frightening illness. that night after dropping off some of my totes at a local Coffee house I made my way back to Joann's to take care of my phobia. You see remnantaphobia is the fear of a remnant. It isn't a traditional phobia-where one can't be around the feared item- it is simply the fear that I would make a remnant of a beautiful piece of fabric. That I would leave a small amount of fabric on a bolt to be left alone with not enough yardage to be made into anything and there it would sit unappreciated and lonely. I then proceeded to locate my leftovers from the day before and gathered them tenderly in my cart and brought them home to be with their mates. They were so happy to be reunited.
About my daughter. She too is making totes and small handbags. I recognized one of the symptoms early in her career of sewing and crafting. She was thinking about what she would do with the money if she sold one of her bags. She said, "I can't wait to sell one of my bags so I can buy more fabric." Not a toy or something she's been wanting for a long time.... MORE FABRIC!!! I decided to diagnose how far along she was in the illness... "How will you know how much to buy?" I asked. "All of it," she proudly declared.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Note to self
After an uneventful trip to the vet with 4 kids and an unsocial dog (because we homeschool)-
DO NOT under any circumstances have a false sense of how easy things are with aforementioned group... and procede to PetSmart.
Even though your vet told you that your dog needs the special diet of Lamb and Rice and it was a bad decision to buy Chicken and rice at Walmart because they don't carry Lamb and Rice anymore.................DO NOT TAKE 4 KIDS AND UNSOCIAL DOG TO PETSMART!!!!!!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is not necessary to do nice things for husband. Remember- You are the nice wife- HE is always making you mad. Today will prove to be no different.
As I'm making a left onto 2nd Street I decide- oh my Petsmart is just across the intersection- I could pick up dog food and husband could avoid an extra stop on the way home. I'm such a nice wife- I'll risk my sanity and take the dog and kids into PetSmart- they let you bring your dog in there- which I've always thought was a stupid stupid stupid idea- don't know why.... just did......... and so I pull into the parking lot and notice only one other car there- I think to myself- I could just leave the kids and the dog in the van and run in quick..... No.... it will be my day to get arrested- and what a wimp- certainly I can handle the dog and kids in a store for 2.5 minutes to get a bag of dog food. I know I know... you think you know what is coming...
We exit the car with minimal difficulty- start to cross the parking lot to the entry and the kids are freaking out because Abby (the dog) is peeing in the street. I grimace, but think to myself, "Oh well at least she won't do that in the store." THAT being the key word..... So I get another idea- lets be efficient here- lets just ask where this important food is. I go to the check out and the lady says, "yes we have the food" and takes me down the food aisle and shows me the different options. I (with leash of unsocial dog in hand) point to the one I want and she picks it up off of the shelf and tries to hand it to me. She tries to hand me 25 pounds of dog food while I'm wrestling with a 65 pound ( I know this to be true- we just came from the vet) lab that thinks she has to smell EVERYTHING!!!
I hand the food to one of the children and we start making our way to the check out. I hear a nervous/anxious voice say, 'MOM, She's POOPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You think this happens- Dogs poop right? Then I look behind me.....it isn't all in terd form..... Some of it is squished. The I hear, "I stepped in it" UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man from Petstupid walks by and I say in the most desperate voice I can. "I need Help." Now... what I meant was........... I need medication to get through the next few minutes of being........... I need calgon......... I need you to bring me something to clean this mess up. I know I risked this to come in here all crazy with 4 kids and a dog..........CAN YOU JUST PLEASE BRING ME WHATEVER IS NEEDED TO CLEAN THIS UP!!!!! He looks cooly at me and points that way..........and says. "the OOPS station is down that aisle" and walks away. Really, Truly, all I wanted was someone to kindly bring me the stuff- I don't expect anyone to clean up after my dog- but are you blind????? Could you not see that I am carrying 25 pounds of dog food, a 65 pound lab- a 60 pound 7 year old boy now hopping on one foot and a 2 year old that wants to see the fishies???????
As I make an assessment of the situation I instruct the oldest to hold the leash of the dog- the 5 year old to put the dog food down and stand next to it and the 7 year old to sit down and stop hopping and the 2 year old..........well just stay close. As I'm making several trips to the oops station for paper towels and a plastic bag the size of a sandwich bag.....I look over and the oldest is holding a leash with no dog on the end of it.
I momentarily loose focus of the fact that I'm in a public establishment and I'm sure my short bobbed hair is all sticking on end like the comic that shows a lady that had one nerve left...... I locate the dog (that doctors say lowers your blood pressure!!!!!!) and put her collar back on and tell daughter to not let that happen again (she looks at me all frustrated like it isn't her fault) and go back to cleaning poop off the floor of the store. At one point one of the cashiers brings me an entire roll of paper towels, "to make it a little easier than using little squares that come out of the dispenser" I clean up the big spots and the shoe tracks and hopping boy's shoe and think I'm making good on an awful experience at PetStupid. I pay for the food- Look the lady square in the face and say, "I've never thought this is a good idea.... and Now I know for certain." She kindly smiles like she has no idea what I'm talking about. I make the boy take his shoe off at the van and put it in a plastic bag for a more thorough hazmat clean up at home.
When husband comes home I tell him that dogs do not belong in stores. He gives me a confused look and says, "you are mad at me aren't you?"
I start to tell him that Dr. Nielson said Abby should have the Lamb and rice- not the chicken and rice and before I can start telling him what happened after the vet, he says, "I picked up Lamb and Rice the last time I was at Walmart.... they must have been temporarily out of it the last time you bought dog food.
Art's funeral is Saturday- hope you can make it... He'd like you to know he was a nice guy. Until he married me. When he started to make many many mistakes and was always making me mad.
DO NOT under any circumstances have a false sense of how easy things are with aforementioned group... and procede to PetSmart.
Even though your vet told you that your dog needs the special diet of Lamb and Rice and it was a bad decision to buy Chicken and rice at Walmart because they don't carry Lamb and Rice anymore.................DO NOT TAKE 4 KIDS AND UNSOCIAL DOG TO PETSMART!!!!!!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is not necessary to do nice things for husband. Remember- You are the nice wife- HE is always making you mad. Today will prove to be no different.
As I'm making a left onto 2nd Street I decide- oh my Petsmart is just across the intersection- I could pick up dog food and husband could avoid an extra stop on the way home. I'm such a nice wife- I'll risk my sanity and take the dog and kids into PetSmart- they let you bring your dog in there- which I've always thought was a stupid stupid stupid idea- don't know why.... just did......... and so I pull into the parking lot and notice only one other car there- I think to myself- I could just leave the kids and the dog in the van and run in quick..... No.... it will be my day to get arrested- and what a wimp- certainly I can handle the dog and kids in a store for 2.5 minutes to get a bag of dog food. I know I know... you think you know what is coming...
We exit the car with minimal difficulty- start to cross the parking lot to the entry and the kids are freaking out because Abby (the dog) is peeing in the street. I grimace, but think to myself, "Oh well at least she won't do that in the store." THAT being the key word..... So I get another idea- lets be efficient here- lets just ask where this important food is. I go to the check out and the lady says, "yes we have the food" and takes me down the food aisle and shows me the different options. I (with leash of unsocial dog in hand) point to the one I want and she picks it up off of the shelf and tries to hand it to me. She tries to hand me 25 pounds of dog food while I'm wrestling with a 65 pound ( I know this to be true- we just came from the vet) lab that thinks she has to smell EVERYTHING!!!
I hand the food to one of the children and we start making our way to the check out. I hear a nervous/anxious voice say, 'MOM, She's POOPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You think this happens- Dogs poop right? Then I look behind me.....it isn't all in terd form..... Some of it is squished. The I hear, "I stepped in it" UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man from Petstupid walks by and I say in the most desperate voice I can. "I need Help." Now... what I meant was........... I need medication to get through the next few minutes of being........... I need calgon......... I need you to bring me something to clean this mess up. I know I risked this to come in here all crazy with 4 kids and a dog..........CAN YOU JUST PLEASE BRING ME WHATEVER IS NEEDED TO CLEAN THIS UP!!!!! He looks cooly at me and points that way..........and says. "the OOPS station is down that aisle" and walks away. Really, Truly, all I wanted was someone to kindly bring me the stuff- I don't expect anyone to clean up after my dog- but are you blind????? Could you not see that I am carrying 25 pounds of dog food, a 65 pound lab- a 60 pound 7 year old boy now hopping on one foot and a 2 year old that wants to see the fishies???????
As I make an assessment of the situation I instruct the oldest to hold the leash of the dog- the 5 year old to put the dog food down and stand next to it and the 7 year old to sit down and stop hopping and the 2 year old..........well just stay close. As I'm making several trips to the oops station for paper towels and a plastic bag the size of a sandwich bag.....I look over and the oldest is holding a leash with no dog on the end of it.
I momentarily loose focus of the fact that I'm in a public establishment and I'm sure my short bobbed hair is all sticking on end like the comic that shows a lady that had one nerve left...... I locate the dog (that doctors say lowers your blood pressure!!!!!!) and put her collar back on and tell daughter to not let that happen again (she looks at me all frustrated like it isn't her fault) and go back to cleaning poop off the floor of the store. At one point one of the cashiers brings me an entire roll of paper towels, "to make it a little easier than using little squares that come out of the dispenser" I clean up the big spots and the shoe tracks and hopping boy's shoe and think I'm making good on an awful experience at PetStupid. I pay for the food- Look the lady square in the face and say, "I've never thought this is a good idea.... and Now I know for certain." She kindly smiles like she has no idea what I'm talking about. I make the boy take his shoe off at the van and put it in a plastic bag for a more thorough hazmat clean up at home.
When husband comes home I tell him that dogs do not belong in stores. He gives me a confused look and says, "you are mad at me aren't you?"
I start to tell him that Dr. Nielson said Abby should have the Lamb and rice- not the chicken and rice and before I can start telling him what happened after the vet, he says, "I picked up Lamb and Rice the last time I was at Walmart.... they must have been temporarily out of it the last time you bought dog food.
Art's funeral is Saturday- hope you can make it... He'd like you to know he was a nice guy. Until he married me. When he started to make many many mistakes and was always making me mad.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
You know you live in Stearns County when...
A school bus carrying kids to school swerves to miss a little dog on the road that belonged to 4 kids on the bus and missed the dog but put the end of the bus in the ditch.
The oldest kid on the bus (this bus has elementary age kids on it) gets off and directs traffic until a first responder shows up on his way back from a medical call and assesses the situation and calls his wife who is still sleeping at this hour of 7:15 a.m. She looks out the window and puts on a coat and boots over her pajamas thinking the bus probably has her neighbors kids on it and her neighbor either is about to have a baby or already had it. When the wife reaches the bus she sees that yes indeed the bus is in the ditch. The wife asks the first responder, "Where is this kid from." Man says," He was on the bus." He was rather old... but ok. The snow plow from Kimball arrives. Ok I guess he is doubling as a tow truck this morning. I say something smart like, "Aren't they going to get another bus for these kids to get on??? First responder says, "I don't know what they are going to do." Wife insists that this is crazy to try to pull the bus out with the kids in it. Mom of 4 kids comes down the road. She is not happy. Children are unloaded to the road- thank goodness they have learned "Stay in a line." Wife says to the kids, "Wow are you going to have a story to tell your moms today afterschool." They all said, "We already called them on our phone." Ahem.
Big boy off of bus hooks up chains to school bus and directs plow driver when to start yanking bus. First Responder directs children to move farther down the road as it seems the bus is going to tip over. Adults are a bit nervous at this point. After a few maneuvers First Responder moves his truck further down the road to avoid bus/truck collision as bus comes flying out of ditch. Finally bus in on the road.
Children are reloaded on the bus.
All before 8 a.m. and wife and first responder's children are still sleeping soundly.
The oldest kid on the bus (this bus has elementary age kids on it) gets off and directs traffic until a first responder shows up on his way back from a medical call and assesses the situation and calls his wife who is still sleeping at this hour of 7:15 a.m. She looks out the window and puts on a coat and boots over her pajamas thinking the bus probably has her neighbors kids on it and her neighbor either is about to have a baby or already had it. When the wife reaches the bus she sees that yes indeed the bus is in the ditch. The wife asks the first responder, "Where is this kid from." Man says," He was on the bus." He was rather old... but ok. The snow plow from Kimball arrives. Ok I guess he is doubling as a tow truck this morning. I say something smart like, "Aren't they going to get another bus for these kids to get on??? First responder says, "I don't know what they are going to do." Wife insists that this is crazy to try to pull the bus out with the kids in it. Mom of 4 kids comes down the road. She is not happy. Children are unloaded to the road- thank goodness they have learned "Stay in a line." Wife says to the kids, "Wow are you going to have a story to tell your moms today afterschool." They all said, "We already called them on our phone." Ahem.
Big boy off of bus hooks up chains to school bus and directs plow driver when to start yanking bus. First Responder directs children to move farther down the road as it seems the bus is going to tip over. Adults are a bit nervous at this point. After a few maneuvers First Responder moves his truck further down the road to avoid bus/truck collision as bus comes flying out of ditch. Finally bus in on the road.
Children are reloaded on the bus.
All before 8 a.m. and wife and first responder's children are still sleeping soundly.
Monday, February 25, 2008
If you've ever wondered
What's in my head..............
I was on the phone with a friend the other day explaining the symptoms of my cold.....
"I have this fullness in my chest.....I had a sore throat but I'm done with that now..... I'm tired and have no ambition.....I'm not feeling hungry... but I feel better after I eat something...."
and then I declare...
"But my head is empty so that is good."
Weather man husband is laughing in the background.....
I guess sometimes we say things truer than we mean to.....
I was on the phone with a friend the other day explaining the symptoms of my cold.....
"I have this fullness in my chest.....I had a sore throat but I'm done with that now..... I'm tired and have no ambition.....I'm not feeling hungry... but I feel better after I eat something...."
and then I declare...
"But my head is empty so that is good."
Weather man husband is laughing in the background.....
I guess sometimes we say things truer than we mean to.....
Friday, January 11, 2008
I don't make this stuff up!
We are sitting around the table for dinner and Lollie gets up to do something and says that it was too hard- she couldn't open it or lift it... can't remember exactly.
I got up to help her and said, "You just have to use a little elbow grease."
Lollie: "What's that?"
I tried to explain to her that it meant that she would have to use her arm muscles and that people call that "elbow grease."
I got up to help her and said, "You just have to use a little elbow grease."
Lollie: "What's that?"
I tried to explain to her that it meant that she would have to use her arm muscles and that people call that "elbow grease."
Boy: "I have armpit grease if I'm working strong with my armpit!"
Round of laughter....
Then the list starts...
"Toe grease"
"Hand Grease"
"Eyeball Grease"
"Leg Grease"
They are laughing and then we hear it......
Lil Crazy Lady: "Butt Grease Me!!!"
Weather man Dad: WE KNOW!!!
End of meal....................
Saturday, January 5, 2008
I Just cleaned that!!!
Crazy lady just after cleaning 2 bathrooms and hearing footsteps:
(And I mean seriously crazy clean... I mean remove everything from the bathroom and clean with a toothbrush and scrub the entire toilet with hot sudzy water and wash down the entire cabinet and walls surrounding the toilet and the light switches and door knobs and baseboards (not in that order) and scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees and washing out a bathtub in my master bathroom that I clean more than I use and cleaning out a makeup drawer that was so disgusting it almost made me cry, and finally finding a cleaning product that removes the awful mineral deposits off my sink drains and shower doors and fixtures and realize that it isn't really a green product and using it anyway.)
With a paranoid sound in my voice: "Honey what are you doing?"
Weather man dad: "I'm going to the bathroom.'
Like its an everyday thing... Like I should have assumed... Like its no big deal... Like I shouldn't have even asked.
With a hysterical plea crazy lady protests: But I just cleaned in THERE!!!
Weather man dad in a really non understanding tone: "Well I have to POOP!" (He didn't actually use that phrase... but you get the idea.)
Crazy Lady: "And you definitely can't do THAT in there!!! It still smells clean and then... well then... it.... WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" almost in tears......
Weather man dad regaining at least a small amount of compassion: "When will it be safe to use the bathroom again?
Crazy Lady in all seriousness: "In 3 or 4 days."
(And I mean seriously crazy clean... I mean remove everything from the bathroom and clean with a toothbrush and scrub the entire toilet with hot sudzy water and wash down the entire cabinet and walls surrounding the toilet and the light switches and door knobs and baseboards (not in that order) and scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees and washing out a bathtub in my master bathroom that I clean more than I use and cleaning out a makeup drawer that was so disgusting it almost made me cry, and finally finding a cleaning product that removes the awful mineral deposits off my sink drains and shower doors and fixtures and realize that it isn't really a green product and using it anyway.)
With a paranoid sound in my voice: "Honey what are you doing?"
Weather man dad: "I'm going to the bathroom.'
Like its an everyday thing... Like I should have assumed... Like its no big deal... Like I shouldn't have even asked.
With a hysterical plea crazy lady protests: But I just cleaned in THERE!!!
Weather man dad in a really non understanding tone: "Well I have to POOP!" (He didn't actually use that phrase... but you get the idea.)
Crazy Lady: "And you definitely can't do THAT in there!!! It still smells clean and then... well then... it.... WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" almost in tears......
Weather man dad regaining at least a small amount of compassion: "When will it be safe to use the bathroom again?
Crazy Lady in all seriousness: "In 3 or 4 days."
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