I Just cleaned that!!!

Crazy lady just after cleaning 2 bathrooms and hearing footsteps:
(And I mean seriously crazy clean... I mean remove everything from the bathroom and clean with a toothbrush and scrub the entire toilet with hot sudzy water and wash down the entire cabinet and walls surrounding the toilet and the light switches and door knobs and baseboards (not in that order) and scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees and washing out a bathtub in my master bathroom that I clean more than I use and cleaning out a makeup drawer that was so disgusting it almost made me cry, and finally finding a cleaning product that removes the awful mineral deposits off my sink drains and shower doors and fixtures and realize that it isn't really a green product and using it anyway.)

With a paranoid sound in my voice: "Honey what are you doing?"

Weather man dad: "I'm going to the bathroom.'

Like its an everyday thing... Like I should have assumed... Like its no big deal... Like I shouldn't have even asked.

With a hysterical plea crazy lady protests: But I just cleaned in THERE!!!

Weather man dad in a really non understanding tone: "Well I have to POOP!" (He didn't actually use that phrase... but you get the idea.)

Crazy Lady: "And you definitely can't do THAT in there!!! It still smells clean and then... well then... it.... WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" almost in tears......

Weather man dad regaining at least a small amount of compassion: "When will it be safe to use the bathroom again?

Crazy Lady in all seriousness: "In 3 or 4 days."

The Year Of Kindness

Walking into the kitchen I say to the family:
"This is the year of kindness."

Lollie: "What did you say?" with her nose all wrinkled in a believable way.

Me: "I said, This is the year of kindness."

Lollie: "I didn't hear you, what did you say?"

Me very much at the top of my voice: "I SAID THIS IS THE YEAR OF KINDNESS"

Lollie: "Well you didn't sound very kind just now"

I can play her game... I said: "I'm just giving the warning... it starts in 2008."

What does sober mean to you?

We were in the kitchen talking about our wedding and weather man dad says: "And I was even sober!"

Lollie (10) spouts out: "Wow, that's amazing!"

She's trying out sarcasm and everynow and then she gets it just right... but this surprised us a bit. I said: "Do you even know what sober means?"

Lollie: "Yes."

Me: "What does it mean then?"

Lollie: "Serious."

I thought we were going to die laughing... she used her sarcasm very well if I don't say so myself.

How can you argue with THAT!!!

Location: Joann's

Me: "Lollie and Martha, Could you walk around that side of the aisle and watch Lil Crazy Lady."

Martha: "Lil Crazy Lady, I think your mom wants you to come over to the cart."

Lil Crazy Lady: "No boss me!"

Martha: "I'm not your boss?"

Lil Crazy Lady: "Yes!"

Martha: "Who is your boss then?"

Lil Crazy Lady: "Jesus!"

All right then!

Language Development

As we are riding in the elevator to get to the Paramount Theater, l'il Crazy Lady belts out:
"Look, penquins!"

We looked.... and yes... there they were.....

Pigeons.


The words are coming.....



Later the same day...
From the bathroom....same child, "Mere.....Mere please." translation=Come here please
I go to the door.
"More napkins."

ahhh yes.... we were out of toilet paper.
Never mind we almost never buy napkins so why she substituted napkins for toilet paper was a mystery to me.....nonetheless. cute.

Funny Mommy

Boy: (Pointing to the baby bathtub hanging in the upstairs shower): Why is this hanging here?
Me: That is where we keep the baby bathtub.
Boy: Why?
Me: So that we can use it if we need it.
Boy: Who would need it?
Me: A baby.
Boy: What baby?
Me: Any baby.
Boy: Like if a baby was at our house.
Me: Sure if a baby was at our house, his mom could use it for the baby.
Boy: But we aren't going to have a baby at our house are we?
Me: I don't know, maybe.
Me: Maybe it would be for a baby that we would have.
Boy: Us? (Sounding surprised) You're funny mommy.
Me: Don't you like babies?
Boy: Well sure... but.... you're funny mommy.

Like it would be totally funny to have another baby....
(No I'm not pregnant) But seriously... why does he think this is soooo funny?

All the rhetorical questions I've asked today

even though James Dobson said, "Don't ask your children rhetorical questions."

Whose shoes are these?
Why are the cereal dishes on the table?
Who let the dog out? (No seriously... I asked that... not a funny song at our house.)
Why does the dog stink?
What is the dog covered in?
What did the dog roll in?
Who is going to give the dog a bath?
Where is her father?

Are you doing your school work?
What do you do when you are done with that subject?
Who was in the "teachers only" cabinet?
Who made this mess?
Wasn't the school room clean when we started?
Then why do you think we can leave it this way?
Are you being helpful?
Do you like to work all by yourself?

Don't you think I should be able to go to the bathroom by myself?
Don't you think even moms need a minute of privacy?
When I'm on the phone, don't you think it would be a good time to not play the harmonica?

Do we chew with our mouth open?
Do we need to make those noises at the table?
Do we need a reminder to not make those noises at the table?
What do you mean you can't help it?
Why don't we make those noises at the table?
When can we make those noises?
Are you serious?

Are you getting your pajamas on?
Are you brushing your teeth?
Is your room clean?
Why is Aiden screaming?
Are you being careful?
Are you being thoughtful?
Are you trying to drive me crazy?

Have I lost my mind?
How did I aquire so much laundry?
When did this happen?
Wasn't I going to stay organized this week?
Where is my brain?
Why don't these jeans fit?
Where did the time go?