Note to self

After an uneventful trip to the vet with 4 kids and an unsocial dog (because we homeschool)-
DO NOT under any circumstances have a false sense of how easy things are with aforementioned group... and procede to PetSmart.
Even though your vet told you that your dog needs the special diet of Lamb and Rice and it was a bad decision to buy Chicken and rice at Walmart because they don't carry Lamb and Rice anymore.................DO NOT TAKE 4 KIDS AND UNSOCIAL DOG TO PETSMART!!!!!!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is not necessary to do nice things for husband. Remember- You are the nice wife- HE is always making you mad. Today will prove to be no different.

As I'm making a left onto 2nd Street I decide- oh my Petsmart is just across the intersection- I could pick up dog food and husband could avoid an extra stop on the way home. I'm such a nice wife- I'll risk my sanity and take the dog and kids into PetSmart- they let you bring your dog in there- which I've always thought was a stupid stupid stupid idea- don't know why.... just did......... and so I pull into the parking lot and notice only one other car there- I think to myself- I could just leave the kids and the dog in the van and run in quick..... No.... it will be my day to get arrested- and what a wimp- certainly I can handle the dog and kids in a store for 2.5 minutes to get a bag of dog food. I know I know... you think you know what is coming...

We exit the car with minimal difficulty- start to cross the parking lot to the entry and the kids are freaking out because Abby (the dog) is peeing in the street. I grimace, but think to myself, "Oh well at least she won't do that in the store." THAT being the key word..... So I get another idea- lets be efficient here- lets just ask where this important food is. I go to the check out and the lady says, "yes we have the food" and takes me down the food aisle and shows me the different options. I (with leash of unsocial dog in hand) point to the one I want and she picks it up off of the shelf and tries to hand it to me. She tries to hand me 25 pounds of dog food while I'm wrestling with a 65 pound ( I know this to be true- we just came from the vet) lab that thinks she has to smell EVERYTHING!!!

I hand the food to one of the children and we start making our way to the check out. I hear a nervous/anxious voice say, 'MOM, She's POOPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You think this happens- Dogs poop right? Then I look behind me.....it isn't all in terd form..... Some of it is squished. The I hear, "I stepped in it" UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man from Petstupid walks by and I say in the most desperate voice I can. "I need Help." Now... what I meant was........... I need medication to get through the next few minutes of being........... I need calgon......... I need you to bring me something to clean this mess up. I know I risked this to come in here all crazy with 4 kids and a dog..........CAN YOU JUST PLEASE BRING ME WHATEVER IS NEEDED TO CLEAN THIS UP!!!!! He looks cooly at me and points that way..........and says. "the OOPS station is down that aisle" and walks away. Really, Truly, all I wanted was someone to kindly bring me the stuff- I don't expect anyone to clean up after my dog- but are you blind????? Could you not see that I am carrying 25 pounds of dog food, a 65 pound lab- a 60 pound 7 year old boy now hopping on one foot and a 2 year old that wants to see the fishies???????

As I make an assessment of the situation I instruct the oldest to hold the leash of the dog- the 5 year old to put the dog food down and stand next to it and the 7 year old to sit down and stop hopping and the 2 year old..........well just stay close. As I'm making several trips to the oops station for paper towels and a plastic bag the size of a sandwich bag.....I look over and the oldest is holding a leash with no dog on the end of it.

I momentarily loose focus of the fact that I'm in a public establishment and I'm sure my short bobbed hair is all sticking on end like the comic that shows a lady that had one nerve left...... I locate the dog (that doctors say lowers your blood pressure!!!!!!) and put her collar back on and tell daughter to not let that happen again (she looks at me all frustrated like it isn't her fault) and go back to cleaning poop off the floor of the store. At one point one of the cashiers brings me an entire roll of paper towels, "to make it a little easier than using little squares that come out of the dispenser" I clean up the big spots and the shoe tracks and hopping boy's shoe and think I'm making good on an awful experience at PetStupid. I pay for the food- Look the lady square in the face and say, "I've never thought this is a good idea.... and Now I know for certain." She kindly smiles like she has no idea what I'm talking about. I make the boy take his shoe off at the van and put it in a plastic bag for a more thorough hazmat clean up at home.

When husband comes home I tell him that dogs do not belong in stores. He gives me a confused look and says, "you are mad at me aren't you?"
I start to tell him that Dr. Nielson said Abby should have the Lamb and rice- not the chicken and rice and before I can start telling him what happened after the vet, he says, "I picked up Lamb and Rice the last time I was at Walmart.... they must have been temporarily out of it the last time you bought dog food.

Art's funeral is Saturday- hope you can make it... He'd like you to know he was a nice guy. Until he married me. When he started to make many many mistakes and was always making me mad.